November 28, 2006
This poem was originally written November 28, 2006. I was renting a three story house and was downstairs and could hear the kids playing upstairs. Their pure joy and laughter just made me think about a less stressful time when my laughter was unrestrained, my joy undiluted and I sought and still seek that.
Tonight, I hear my kids being too loud
but I do not mind.
Because I hear unmuffled joy
silliness, and I wonder where mine went
When did I become so serious, smothered
What was the last true feeling that I've had?
Unaccustomed to being the stifled one
There has to be some emotion in here somewhere
other than anger and dispair
What do you do after you've soul searched and found
Oh, if it were only just a prayer or a poem or a journal entry
A litany of how-to's and things to avoid
like an Atkins or South Beach diet
A point on the map where you can tell you've arrived safely
Sleep doesn't come, sleep doesn't cure, it seems I'm always
When is the last time I have felt love?
The racing pulse, the shortened breath
The smile that shows in my eyes, the grand prize
To awaken what lies dormant
What did it feel like? Is it like riding a bike?
Even now I hear laughter coming through the heating vent
Two floors below
My children are laughing a more innocent laugh
A laugh without letdown, unmuffled
They really are being too loud
but I do not mind.....